Erin Campbell Naman, St. Luke’s Member, Organ Donor Enthusiast
Psalm 150 (NIV)
Praise the Lord. Praise God in his sanctuary, praise him in his mighty heavens. Praise him for his acts of power; praise him for his surpassing greatness. Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet, praise him with the harp and lyre, praise him with timbrel and dancing, praise him with the strings and pipe, praise him with the clash of cymbals, praise him with resounding cymbals. Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.

Romans 8:28 (NIV)
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Reflection:

I can’t stop smiling. The kind of smile so big your face is starting to hurt but still you just can’t stop smiling smile. I almost jumped for joy and clicked my heels together in the parking lot but it’s raining, I am in my 40s and that just seems like the recipe for a broken hip. But still, nothing can dampen my feeling of happiness.

I can see again! My eyesight has been deteriorating for quite some time, to the point where they weren’t sure I could pass the eye exam to renew my driver’s license. Which is very bad when you are the mother to two children who do all the things and your main purpose on earth seems to be chauffeuring them to all the things. 

But I can see! Starting in May I have been working with the most amazing doctor to get me fitted into these new, wild contacts. I have to use a tiny plunger to take them in and out! It’s wild, and it’s life changing. I know which kid on the flag football team is mine! For the past few years I just cheered for all the kids because I couldn’t see enough to know which kid was mine. But not anymore, now I see them, and I can even drive them home in the dark. It’s been crazy!

I wanted to hug the doctor but you know, COVID, so instead I thanked her profusely, left the office, looked up to the sky and let out the biggest smile. I want to wrap God in the biggest bear hug. I have already thanked him approximately 3,345,444 times today and yet it still doesn’t feel like enough. I also want to write a sincere thank you note to whomever invented these contacts and especially the makers of the tiny plungers. But it’s to God who I want to sing and dance and crash the cymbals. 

God is the one who has been there every step of this journey.  God was there in September 2001 when my cornea was cracked and I needed corneal transplants or I would go blind. God got me out of bed after days of throwing an epic pity party at the diagnosis. It will be 20 years in November since that first successful transplant and the journey hasn’t always been smooth, but the one constant is God. God has been forever steadfast. I have railed at him more times than I care to admit yet he stood steadfast in his love. I couldn’t have gotten to where I am today without him.

And here is the thing I have learned; God would still be here even if today was drastically different.  If these life changing contacts hadn’t been invented, if the tiny plungers were still just a dream and I was still facing a life of quickly diminishing eyesight, God would still be here with steadfast love. We don’t always get the healing that we want or in the time frame we want. I have no doubt that my donors’ family members wanted them healed, prayed for their healing but for whatever reason they weren’t. I also know that God wept when they wept. I also know that only God can provide healing from that kind of pain and that kind of grief.

God uses all things for good for those who love him, we are told in Romans. God used my diagnosis of keratoconus over 20 years ago to transform who I am today and, more importantly, my relationship with him. Today is a good day, a very good day, but they haven’t always been, and I know challenges are still ahead, but I also know God’s love is steadfast and I won’t face any of those days alone. So today, and every day, I thank God for blessing me, for healing me, for teaching me about his love. Life is a gift from God, a fleeting gift that is meant to be loved, lived, and enjoyed. God delights in us and for that I praise him. And I am going to keep on smiling.

Prayer:

Thank you, God, though that word seems so small and inadequate compared to all that you have given me. I thank you God for the sight that you have given me and the many gifts you have allowed me to see these past 20 years. They are all gifts from  you, and I am so blessed to be able to see them and to experience them. I pray that you are with those whose loved one did not receive the healing they so desired. May you wrap them in your love and provide them the kind of healing from pain and loss that only you can provide. And be with those in the midst of healing today, whether it be physical or emotional, I pray God they know your love and your healing touch. Thank you, God, for going on this healing journey with me. I am so blessed to have an ever loving God. Amen.