Tim Helwege

1 Samuel 20:27-34 (ESV)
“But on the second day, the day after the new moon, David’s place was empty. And Saul said to Jonathan his son, ‘Why has not the son of Jesse come to the meal, either yesterday or today?’ Jonathan answered Saul, ‘David earnestly asked leave of me to go to Bethlehem.’ He said, ‘Let me go, for our clan holds a sacrifice in the city, and my brother has commanded me to be there. So now, if I have found favor in your eyes, let me get away and see my brothers.’ For this reason he has not come to the king’s table.’ Then Saul’s anger was kindled against Jonathan, and he said to him, ‘You son of a perverse, rebellious, woman, do I not know that you have chosen the son of Jesse to your own shame, and to the shame of your mother’s nakedness? For as long as the son of Jesse lives on the earth, neither you nor your kingdom shall be established. Therefore send and bring him to me, for he shall surely die.’ Then Jonathan answered Saul his father, ‘Why should he be put to death? What has he done?” But Saul hurled his spear at him to strike him. So Jonathan knew that his father was determined to put David to death. And Jonathan rose from the table in fierce anger and ate no food the second day of the month, for he was grieved for David, because his father had disgraced him.” 

Reflection:
Every year in October I fly to Colorado for a men’s retreat with the organization I do my counseling through. We do not go out to swing axes, drink beer, and talk about sports. What we do go out there to do though is share our stories. Forty men from across America all come together for a weekend of brotherhood, fellowship, and to be a part of a community where their stories are held, affirmed, and loved. This retreat helps men come to experience what it means to be more than just a “friend” but to actually be a “brother.” And over the last two years, I have been able to have my story held by men, and been able to hold others’ in a way that allows God to bring in restoration, redemption, and new life.

As I read this portion in David’s story, I’m brought back to these men in Colorado. Not because this story is between two men, but because it’s a story of what true friendship looks like. Jonathan and David’s journey and friendship expand far beyond just this single part of their collective story. They experienced life together. Not just the good, sun-shining parts but also parts that were difficult, painful, and filled with tears. They held one another’s stories, joys, struggles, hurts, and praises in a way that truly expresses what God’s heart for friendship really is. In this set of verses, Jonathan stood up for David. Practically speaking, in a way that allowed him not to be killed by Saul, but also in a much more spiritually significant way. Jonathan was the kind of friend that did not allow the holiness and goodness within his friend David to be stained, belittled, or trampled upon by his father. He stood up for not only his physical life but also the very tender, holy parts of David’s heart and soul. 

As we find ways to commit ourselves in 2022, I wonder what it would look like for us to make the commitment to being a good friend? And not just a good friend, but to be a good brother and sister to those we already consider our friends. To build brotherhoods and sisterhoods that reflect the same kind of bond that Jonathan and David had. To not just meet and gather with one another, but to actually journey, defend, and care for our stories together. Where we commit to holding one another’s hearts in a way that invites the gentle, loving Spirit of the Lord to shine through. What could the year look like if we made the choice to think of ourselves not as, “Davids needing to find Jonathans”, but rather, “As Jonathans holding up and caring for our Davids?” Because I believe that when we make that choice, we get to experience what true, Christian friendship really looks like where we develop bonds so strong that no spear could ever pierce it. 

Prayer:
Lord Jesus, thank you for blessing us with the gift of friendship. I pray that throughout this year we could make the commitment to diving deeper into our stories with some of the people we have around us. Point us to those who we can show the love of Jonathan, and let us experience the true joy of what it means to have “brothers and sisters in Christ.” I pray this all in the name of Christ. Amen.