God of grace and truth,

Happy are those whose transgression is forgiven,
whose sin is covered.
Happy are those to whom the Lord imputes no iniquity,
and in whose spirit there is no deceit.

While I kept silence, my body wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer.

Then I acknowledged my sin to you,
and I did not hide my iniquity;
I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,”
and you forgave the guilt of my sin. -Psalm 32

It isn’t easy to face my sin. I find myself thinking, “I sin, but not as bad as other people do. I sin, but he started it. I sin, but even so, I am still right. I sin, but not as bad as I used to. I sin, but my sins are the little kind. I sin, but it is the fault of my culture. I sin, but everybody sins, so what is the problem?” God, when someone points out my sin, I find myself to be so defensive, holding fast to my positions and being angry at them for speaking the truth to me in love. And God, I know I am good at rationalizing my sins, and even at confessing them. But I am not so good at repenting, at really changing, at turning away and thinking, behaving, and living differently. I suspect you must be tired of me being so stuck in my sin.

And yet, you are the God who continues to relent, to forgive, to work within me through the Holy Spirit that I might actually change and be transformed. Change is hard for me. But change is also so full of freedom. Freedom from trying to justify myself. Freedom from pretense. Freedom from anger and hatred, and resentment. It is a weight off of my shoulders, knowing that your love and grace is so much greater than my sin, so I don’t have to pretend anymore.

Thank you, God. Amen.