A PERSONAL PRAYER

God,

I remember when I was an intern pastor and read the words of the supervisor evaluating me. “Tom is really good at starting things, but sometimes does not finish them.” That stung because I knew it to be true. I do not always persevere.

There are some things I’ve stuck to well in my spiritual disciplines — prayer, study, worship, giving,– but I wonder if I would be as consistent if it wasn’t my vocation. There are other personal habits in which I am inconsistent, proceeding with fits and starts, choosing to give up when the going gets rough, or I get bored. I read your Scripture challenging me to persistent prayer, perseverant faithfulness in the face of trial, and an unwavering servant heart. Most importantly, your witness in Jesus calls me to love unceasingly, all the way to the cross if necessary. But I am afraid I am too often a fair-weather fan, an unreliable servant, and a patchy lover of you and others. I want so much to be your devoted disciple! I pray that you would help me.

And yet, you don’t abandon me when I give up. In fact, it seems you step closer to me the more I waver. I keep thinking about the phrase in the Great Thanksgiving, the liturgy for the Lord’s Supper. The pastor says, “When we turned away, and our love failed, your love remained steadfast.” I am overwhelmed with joy that the God who loves me always loves me. I can relax in knowing that my fickle faith does not define our relationship, but rather our relationship is defined by your constant love.

“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His steadfast love endures forever.” (Psalm 118) Thank you, God, for your unending goodness and your steadfast love. Amen.