Charity Autry, Member since 2008, Families in Faith Sunday School Leader, Starting Point Leader, VBS Chair (Children’s Ministry Council)

Center yourself on today’s reflection by lighting a candle and reciting this breath prayer:
Inhale – Overwhelm us with your love
Exhale – which casts out every fear.

Ephesians 4:31-32 (New International Version)
31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Reflection:
Forgiveness is one of the easiest and hardest things to do. We forgive the small stuff every day.  A hurtful word spoken by a friend, a car that cuts you off or the waitress that forgets to fill your tea glass. These are small things to forgive. It becomes harder with the “big” stuff — abuse, neglect, unfaithfulness. Almost everyone of us has had to forgive something big. Or maybe you are still in the process of forgiving. We can know the importance of forgiveness, but it is still so hard! Especially when the wound is so deep or the person that has wounded you continues to do so over and over.

I have been forgiving for the last 44 years. At least it feels like my entire life. If you read my devotionals in the past, I have mentioned I had a teenage mother. Addiction drove a wedge between us that exists to this day. As a young woman, I just wanted a regular mother like everyone else. I wanted the perfect family. Of course, I know now that everyone else’s lives were not the picture of perfection I perceived them to be. I have also learned that God was with me, and this experience of working toward forgiveness built character and perseverance.

My early teens and twenties were very tumultuous. I was angry with her, the world, and God. I didn’t know until much later how me not forgiving was eating away at me. Lysa TerKeurst, in her new book, Forgiving What You Can’t Forget, says, “Unhealed hurt often becomes unleashed—hurt spewed out on others.” I did not realize at the time that this behavior was so destructive. Little did people know I was just protecting myself, but I was unleashing my hurt on those around me.  

Forgiveness is for you. Realizing this made it easier for me to forgive my mother. I didn’t want to forgive her for the longest time because it meant that her actions were acceptable, and I wanted an apology. To forgive does not mean you have to forget or the other person shows remorse. It is also something we do over and over again—seventy times seven! Forgiving again and again is necessary because we will be triggered by something that reminds us of the hurt. For me, it is every birthday or my kids’ birthdays or when something occurs where a grandparent should be present. I hurt for myself and my kids. I know these times will come and my heart hurts, but I choose to forgive once again. 

Have you ever been paralyzed by anger and hurt to the point you could not move forward? Forgiveness is the process of moving forward. We may be triggered and have to forgive again and again. The hurt may have been caused by someone else, but we are in control of how we manage our feelings. And here’s some really good news: God doesn’t leave us to manage these feelings on our own. God’s invitation to forgive makes a way for true healing to take place.

Prayer:
God, thank you so much for forgiving each of us over and over again. You are such a gracious God for giving us the lessons in the Bible to teach us about forgiveness. Please help us hear these lessons to forgive those that hurt us so bad. Amen.