Charity Autry, Member since 2008, Families in Faith Sunday School Leader, Starting Point Leader, VBS Chair (Children’s Ministry Council)

Proverbs 18:13-17 (New International Version)

13 If one gives answer before hearing, it is folly and shame.

14 The human spirit will endure sickness; but a broken spirit—who can bear?

15 An intelligent mind acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge.

16 A gift opens doors; it gives access to the great.

17 The one who first states a case seems right, until the other comes and cross-examines.

Reflection:

I see it every day, I have even done it myself; quickly casting judgment by leaving a comment on someone’s social media page. “That is to folly and shame” (verse 13).  With social media the opportunity is abundant. It is easier when we do not know the individual we are commenting about. Since they do not know us, we can say whatever we want! Right? Wrong!

For example, did you see the picture posted online of the mom and her baby in the airport? The mother was looking at her cell phone, her two-month-old baby was laying on a blanket on the floor. Another traveler took a picture of the mother and her baby and posted it online. The photo went viral, and the judgmental comments exploded. Why do we as humans feel like it is our responsibility to judge others and even go as far as to post our judgment? Well obviously, this behavior is not new. The scripture above addresses shaming or judgment, but it is mentioned another 293 times!  

How do we interrupt this shame/judgment cycle? Why is it so easy to cast judgment? Sometimes it’s about power, so we crush the other person. Sometimes we’ve been overly influenced by our environment, having fallen into a culture that encourages judgment. Other times we might judge others out of our own insecurities. Anger, anxiety, fear, envy are all things that can lead us down this toxic road. None of us will be perfect when addressing our judgments, but we can do better. Knowing why is the first step to correcting our behavior. Reflecting on this internal knee-jerk allows us a chance for change.

Look back to the Scripture passage.  In verses 13, 15, and 17 there are three distinctive rules for casting an opinion. First, “To answer before listening,” listen and get the facts (verse 13). If people had talked to the mother in the airport, they would have found that she and her infant had been delayed numerous times, more than 20 hours. Maybe they would not have been quick to judge. Second, “The heat of the discerning acquires knowledge,” seek out knowledge and listen to others (verse 15). Having more information about a situation changes our perspective. Third, “the first to speak seems right, until someone comes forward and cross-examines,” listen to all sides (verse 17). Those that agreed with the poster and continued to bombard this mother with judgment would have stopped and listened to both sides. Get the facts, seek out knowledge and listen to differing opinions. If we follow this scripture we process through our judgment. When we do not, we crush a spirit as indicated in verse 14.

Recently, much of our interactions moved to virtual- social media, emails, or video conferencing.  We are more connected than ever before, however, we have less of a social and emotional connection. It is easier to comment or judge others when you do not have a physical connection. The gentlemen that posted a picture of the mother and her baby would not have done that if he had a connection with the mother. We are judging our friends, neighbors, and families through their posts; we do not have the full story.  Without this human connection, we have lost our grace and our filters. Even in our high-tech world, the Bible is still prevalent! Thank God he knows our faults and has given us the tools to be better in the Bible. Let us put our judgment through the biblical filter.

Prayer:
Thank you, God, for knowing all of our faults and giving us the tools to know better and do better. We are so thankful that you sent Jesus to us to show us an example of grace and love.  Thank you for loving us even with our faults. God, please help us to read and use your word to be less judgemental, to lead and love like Jesus. Amen.