Peggy Roe, Board of Trustees

Proverbs 22:6 (KJV)
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Reflection:
According to several sources, the book of Proverbs was written around 700 BCE; the author is purported to be King Solomon, who is known for his wisdom. A striking fact is that even three millennia ago, a Jewish king was addressing parents who were worried about how to raise their children to be caring, responsible adults. In the Jewish tradition, the “sins of the fathers will be visited upon their children unto the third and fourth generation” (Exodus 20; Numbers 14; Deuteronomy 5; Jeremiah 32). That is, even an innocent adult whose father had sinned would bear his father’s guilt as punishment. This threat made good child-rearing techniques an imperative among Jewish families.

Jewish parents were not the only ones who were concerned about their responsibility as parents: men of letters such as the Greek tragedian Euripides (c. 485-406 BCE); the Roman poet Horace (65-8 BCE); and the English playwright Shakespeare (1564-1616) all included passages stating that the gods—or, depending on the author, God—visited the sins of the fathers upon the children. Alexander Pope more closely reflected the wording of the Proverb in his Epistles to Several Persons (1732): “‘Tis education forms the common mind, Just as the twig is bent the tree’s inclined.” (With appreciation to Google for the references.)

As Christians living in the modern era, we do not believe that the sins of the fathers are visited upon the children, but we do wonder how some children raised with a strong set of values can go astray. My husband and I continually strove to be “good parents” to our three children by imparting our values of honesty, integrity, and a love of the Lord as the building blocks of good character. Either in spite of us or because of us, we succeeded in raising three caring, responsible adults who are now inculcating those values in their own lives. Yet, I have friends who share those values and saw their children serve prison terms, succumb to alcohol or drug addiction, or fail to become independent adults. When that happens, one must ask what went wrong with the “twig” when it was trained to grow straight but turned out to be crooked.

One answer comes to mind based on a trip we took many years ago to Corpus Christi. As we came close to town, we noticed that all the trees along the highway were bending in one direction, almost as if they had been “trained” to grow that way. Later, we learned that a tropical storm had devastated the area, causing what were then saplings to be deformed as they grew into mature trees. Similarly, I believe that external forces can cause children to veer from the straight paths their parents carved for them and suffer the punishment of guilt and self-recrimination—but not the sins of their parents. Parents can do their best to show their children the way, but they cannot make their children’s choices for them. God gives both parents and children the gift of free will, and the choices they make are theirs.

Solomon was wise to speak to the Jews about how to raise their children. Whether three millennia ago, or just this past week, parents throughout history have sought to take his advice.  

Prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father, please train us, your children, in the way we should go so that we will not wander from the path of righteousness but follow in the footsteps of your son, Jesus Christ. Amen.